Our Story

I started this blog because I had so much to say about money. Having money, having NO money, credit, processes, etc. I wanted to share with the world the things I have learned in the past couple of years about knowledge I've gained from experiences I've been through. First, let me share my story with you.

We’ve had a number of things happen that we’ve had to contend with that have included loss of job, having a new child, moving, and months paying close to 50% child support, despite a reduction in income.

I have been thinking for a while about putting down the things we did to navigate through this time, for the people who are going through similar situations. I feel as though we are a success story, considering we were living on nothing (not even NEXT to nothing, more like less than nothing) for so long, yet we have not lost our cars or been evicted and have managed to eat this whole time.

I knew back in 2009, towards the end of the year, that our financial situation was going to be one that was going to be difficult for a while. I did not know hard hard it would get, but I did know that things were going to be tight. We were engaged, trying to plan a wedding, making plans for Christmas with the kids, spending money on both apartments, paying $800 a month in child support, and my husband had switched jobs and the commission we were planning on for our budget was just not happening. Our very first Christmas together, we were unable to get each other any gifts. We were not going to be able to get each other birthday gifts or do anything really fun for New Years Eve. So we stayed at home. Staying home was something we would do a lot of.

During this time, we would shop a lot at the Dollar Store, to try and find good deals on food. We also shopped at Walmart and we bought a lot of generic. We would try to get treats when the kids would come and do cheap things the weekends they were with us, like finding free carnivals or dollar movies. We would also buy cookies, or at least some sort of treat for them, because the rest of the time, that was not something we could afford. Going out to eat became something we did less and less. However, it was not as bad as it would eventually get.

In February, a month before we were to be married, he was let go from his job. He found a job a couple of weeks later that paid $10 an hour, which was a substantial reduction in income. For those of you who are paying close attention, about half of his take home pay was going to go to child support. We had a wedding coming up around the corner and we could no longer afford both apartments. We were not planning on moving into our new apartment until after his lease was up, but due to our financial situation, there was no way we could continue paying for his lease. He had to break it because we had no other choice.
This was a decision, the first of many, that required us to really decide where our much needed money was going to have to go. While neither of us wanted a black mark on his rental credit, nor did we want for anything to get sent to collections or to break a rental promise to a community where he had lived for 3 years. But it was either that or start having bad rental credit at our new apartment or the possibility of not paying for our cars. That was just not an option. So, we called his apartment and explained what was about to happen. They informed us that since he had always been a great tenant and we were communicating with them, they would reduce the amount of the lease still remaining (which was only two months) and send it to their in house collections, at which point we could negotiate the remaining amount at a later time, when we had money to pay. This was the first of many times that communicating with our creditors/debtors has been beneficial to us.

It was during this time that I started becoming very discouraged. It seemed to be one thing after the other that I was having to deal with or handle. I started to feel like a very good juggler; finding money to take from one bill to pay another. I also started getting very angry. I was upset that while other people had such an easy time of it, we were struggling so badly. We were unable to take a honeymoon, unable to purchase a new home as newlyweds, even get each other wedding gifts. I had an engagement ring but we couldn’t afford the band to match it, so we ended up having to get $35 wedding bands from James Avery (which I wear by itself these days – I love that ring). I felt slighted, cheated, robbed of an easy life with my new husband. I was mad at God for making things this hard on us. Little did I know how many more months of this I was going to have to endure.

My husband and I found out about two weeks after the wedding that we were to have a baby. While this would not affect us in the short term financially, I began to feel very scared about how we were going to support a child in this environment. We had a three bedroom apartment, with two step-kids that visited already, where would we even put a baby? How would we get furniture? How are we going to afford diapers? I was completely unsure mentally how I felt about having a baby. Until I heard the first sonogram. It was then I realized that I was going to have to get tough and figure some things out because we now had a child that we were going to have to provide for. We had no choice but to start really deciding how we were going to get through this.

Jason and I tried very hard not to allow the lack of money affect our marriage. I had many days that I wanted to scream and yell and be mad, not at him, but just in general. Some days, I did. But other days, I tried to remember that this was just our journey, our path, the one God wanted us to take and we were in this together. We tried to work our best as a team, finding comfort in the fact that there was someone else in this world having to sacrifice just as much as the other was. It was not always easy, I will assure you. It took a lot of praying and work to not want to just say, "Screw this, I am out of here. I didn’t sign up for this."
We would often go to Once Upon a Child or Half Price Books to sell our stuff. We even sold things on Craigslist. Most of the time, these things were nothing of real sentimental value. However, the day I knew things were really bad and when I got really sad about our situation was the day that I sold my Friends DVDs and my husband sold his golf clubs. Two of our most prized possessions. We told ourselves we can always get them back. My husband would say, "I needed a new set anyway. Next year, I’ll be able to get a great new set." But ultimately, we would talk about how much it stunk to be broke. And how it should not be like this. And how we are 30 years old and we should be able to spend money as we wish. I don’t know who ever told us that, but we thought it SHOULD be like that.

Despite the fact that my husband’s income had gone down, I was still employed at a reputable company, making good money, with really good benefits. I did not realize how good the health insurance was until later, but our whole family, including both of his kids, were on my insurance, which cost all of $270 a month. For really, really great coverage. Pre-tax. We both had life insurance through my company, plus a 401 K. That’s not to say the job was a good job. It was not. And it was beginning to be incredibly stressful for a pregnant woman. They were always on us to perform and the fear of being fired was there, always. And they made sure you knew it. I would come home at night, terrified about being a casualty. "I can’t get fired, I just can’t. No one will hire someone who is six months pregnant." Out of our entire region, 1/3 of all employees had been fired (not laid off, fired). Around June, my husband got promoted to manager, which was a small raise. It was not the salary we were looking forward to, though, it was the commission he was promised. With the commission he was promised, it meant that I could switch jobs to something that paid less but came with less stress.

My husband’s company was hiring and I decided to interview. They hired me and I was so glad that now, I had some job security, even if it meant I took a substantial pay cut. However, that first month my husband was supposed to get commission, it did not come. Nor did it come the month after that. Or the next month. His boss, his new boss, said he had no idea what my husband was talking about when he mentioned about commission. There we were. Stuck, a baby on the way in four months, with less money than we needed to survive every month.
My clothes were starting to fall apart. My hair was two different colors. I needed a hair cut. His clothes were falling apart. We could never get things we wanted to eat so we would get the bare minimum, just enough to feed us. No goodies. No ice cream. Since I was the one in charge of the money, I would come home from the store with Blue Bell (after it was on sale) every once in a while and you would have thought we were eating gold. We had gotten rid of cable long ago and switched to antenna TV. We had no internet. But we had a Redbox nearby, but spending a dollar on a movie was a treat sometimes. We would go through the furniture and on the floors of our closets looking for change. Most of the time, our checks were promised to people and spent weeks before they would come. We would have money for about an hour before it was gone again. I learned to cut my husband’s hair, how to repair old shoes and how to shop at second hand stores. I also learned how to cook. And be creative with food we had and make it last.
I remember one time my step-son asked us if we could go out to eat after church, which was obviously out of the question. I said, "not today, we will just eat at home." He said, "It’s because you guys never have any money. We never eat out with you guys." It made me cry so much I skipped church. I sat outside in the car and cried and cried. It broke my heart not just for them, but for me, I wanted to eat out too I SO wanted to eat out. But we could never do something as simple as go out to a restaurant anymore.

Jason started looking for other jobs, but nothing ever seemed to pan out. He went from one second interview to another, never able to find anything. At this point, we were trying very hard to make sense of it all, asking God to show us the way we were supposed to go. My faith was getting better, but I still did not understand why things was happening this way. Thank goodness I had several baby showers; I do not know where diapers would have come from, had it not been for showers. I also was secondhanded some beautiful (and high quality) bedroom furniture for my baby’s room. Then, I discovered Craigslist and Once Upon A Child (to buy things, not just sell), and was able to purchase some big items for a ¼ of the price. I was also told that despite the fact that I would have only been there four months, my company would pay short term disability for my maternity leave. Then, my mother, who loves my daughter more than anything, just started buying clothes. And diapers. And eventually, formula. I got very lucky with that.

Towards the end of January, we received our W-2s and did our taxes. We were going to be getting back close to $3,000. What a blessing! We were so far behind on so many things that this would all but catch us up. Not really give us extra money, just catch us up. It’s amazing how fast $3,000 can be spent. After all was said and done, we still had some recurring monthly bills we just couldn’t pay for. Our salaries were about $400 short of paying for each of our bills every month. We had no choice but to turn to our parents, which we had not done for almost two years. We maintained until the tax money would come, excited because maybe, we would finally start to see some relief.

The day we received the deposit, my husband was laid off. The SAME DAY. It was amazing timing, I must say.

The very next week, my husband went on an interview for a company that would pay really well and was close to his old office. By sheer coincidence, he also came across an old acquaintance from his old industry who was also looking to hire. He was offered two jobs in the same week. It was at that point I realized that things were about to change.

His new job had good benefits, paid for 40 gallons a week of gas for personal vehicles, paid weekly and paid really good commission. After 90 days. It was only a matter of time before things would change.
As I look back now, starting to see some improvement and some stability back in our lives, it has really made me feel blessed. I feel like I have learned so much out of necessity. And I am grateful now that I have learned so much. I know where to look to find $3 off a $20 bag of dog food. Not much, I know, but when you only have $20 to your name, that $3 can come in handy. It can even give you a meal for four, if you know what to buy and how to cook. I have learned how to buy second hand items off Craiglist. I got about 60 outfits for my daughter for $40. Now, I just can not imagine blowing money on paying full price. I’ve learned how to repurpose furniture. I really would like to know how to sew. That is next on my list.
What I am here to tell and teach to you is that you can do it too. If you are down on hard times, things will get better. And in the meantime, I would like to tell you some tricks I learned along the way.